Rise & Grind - Eliminating Negativity

Do you find yourself spiraling into a negative headspace? 2020 has certainly tested even the strongest minds, making it even more important to be deliberate with the seeds we plant in our mental garden.
Toxic people can sneak their way into our inner circles. Surrounding yourself with the right people can dramatically influence your outlook and attention. It's important to reflect - are your friends anchors or sails?
Misery does love company. (1) They might know it and are looking for ways to spread the poison of their unhappiness, or they may be completely oblivious. Either way, you have every right to eliminate or limit a person who is bringing you down. 
 
Here are a few types of people that may need to be kindly escorted from your life.  Read on from author Wendy L. Patrick, who is an expert in toxic people. Do any of these toxic types sound familiar?

1. The Narcissist

If someone in your life spends more time admiring their own perfections, it can leave no time for others and real, genuine relationships. "In addition to playing up their physical appearance, narcissists also exhibit attractive facial expressions, verbal humor, and confident body movements — all of which enhance their appearance and perceived status," Patrick writes. We're biologically wired to want these people, but that doesn't mean we can't rise above our basic instincts. 

2. The Frenemy

Fake people are the worst. The problem lies where you don't realize how manipulation and shallow someone can be until they've got what they wanted and leave you in the dust. As Patrick insightfully writes, frenemies "make great companions. They charm and beguile you as they take from you what they want." Her advice is to examine the focus of the friendship, taking great care to notice whether this particular person is "only complimentary and affirming when they have something to gain." The only thing your real friends want from you is a little time and attention. Anybody else needs to be kicked to the curb immediately.

3. The Stalker

If we really knew how much our lives were exposed online, maybe we would safe guard them a little bit more. That's hard to say when we all get a high from a ton of likes or comments on our selfies. 

People like Patrick "worry about the predators lurking in cyberspace, looking for provocative screen names and exhibitionist selfies, searching for victims to target." Hearing how amazing you look in your vacation pics is great, but beware overly admiring followers, friends, and contacts. As Patrick points out, there's no way to know if the person who has viewed your profile 50 times in the last day “is on the other side of the world or in the cubicle next to you in the office.” Do not sacrifice your safety for Internet popularity.

4. The Bully

A bully can show up in any area of your life — in the form of a domineering coworker, an overly aggressive partner, or a bossy best friend. At first it can feel good to have an intimidator on your side. But as Patrick points out, "Expecting someone who is overly aggressive in one situation to be gentle with you is wishful thinking. Bullies are equal opportunity offenders." Meaning that if a partner or friend is super aggressive with the wait staff, while driving, and at work, eventually they're going to turn that nasty behavior on you. Don't wait around for it. You don't need any dictators in your life, so ditch the dominators.

5. The Enigma

There's something inherently seductive about a mysterious person. For a while, trying to figure out what fuels their mood swings and secretive behavior can be intriguing. But as Patrick writes, "Secrets are relationship saboteurs. It is hard to read people who deliberately keep you in the dark about certain aspects of their lives." If someone is habitually evasive and withholding, eventually you're going to believe they're hiding something dark and terrible. And you may just be right. Let the enigmas go on their mysterious way and focus on the people who reciprocate your honesty and openness.

Source: Bustle.com - 5 Types of Toxic People You Need to Ditch ASAP,  Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Toxic People in Your Life, author Wendy L. Patrick

Do you catch yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern? It can be so easy to get down in the dumps and focus on the negative things around us. Here are 7 habits to develop to throw the negative train off its tracks.

 

1. Spend Time With Positive People

Seek out positive people and make this a priority. Surround yourself with people who hold values and characteristics that are important to you - like honesty and loyalty. Focus on relationships that lift you up and make you a better version of yourself. Take control of the people around you and don't be afraid to make changes if you see a negative pattern.

2. Let Go of Your Past and Move Forward

Instead of holding on and dwelling on things that have happened in the past, move on and forgive. It can be hard to not hold a grudge, but it does you no good. You don't have to let that person stay in your life, but don't let it take up your time and mind space.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

This one is so important. When we compare ourselves to others, there is no way to do it in a positive light. Instead, try comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday.  Apples to Apples, right?  Only you are a good comparison for you.  Everyone else has a different past, genetics, degree, and diet.  Hold yourself accountable to your own goals and not someone else's Instagram profile.

4. Develop Strategies For Coping

Healthy coping methods are vital for when we get thrown a curve ball. Find something that keeps your mind clear and open and releases stress. This will help ward off negativity.

5. Stop Overthinking

Avoid focusing on something for too long. This leads to a rabbit hole of overthinking and dwelling on things that can't be undone. Process the situation, make a decision, learn from it and move on. 

6. Take Care of Your Body

Taking care of your body is taking care of your mind (2). Healthy habits like eating unprocessed foods, having a regular exercise schedule and drinking plenty of water will increase the likelihood of a positive mind. When you physically feel good it's easier to mentally feel good.

7. Be Thankful 

Gratitude will transform your attitude and life. When we start to focus on all the good, we see the bigger picture and understand what is important. It instantly switches the negative to positive.

 

Source: Nikki's Plate - 7 Easy Habits To Eliminate Negativity From Your Life

 

This guided meditation takes the struggle out of trying to focus on positive thinking and is great for beginners! As you clear the negative thoughts from your mind, you create space for new creative ideas. It only takes a few minutes and by the end you will have eliminated the negative thoughts through meditation and breath work.

A Meditation For Eliminating Negative Thoughts 

  1. Find a quiet place to sit and take a moment to ground yourself.

  2. Bring your left hand out with the palm facing up. It should be slightly cupped like you're trying to catch some water in your hand.

  3. Place your right hand on top of your left .

  4. Keep your hands in front of your heart and your elbows relaxed down.

  5. Look down towards your hands and the tip of your nose.

  6. Inhale though the nose, exhale through the mouth (breath work).

  7. When you exhale, imagine all of your negative thoughts being blown away.

  8. Continue with this breath work for about 3 minutes.

  9. You can imagine a black or grey smoke being released from your body as you exhale.

  10. As you breathe in, make sure your belly is rising on the inhale. As you exhale, be sure to gently pull your navel in.

  11. At the end of your breath work, inhale deeply, hold the breath, and pull up on the root lock.

  12. Close your eyes and point them up towards your third eye.

  13. Exhale a powerful breath out onto the palms.

  14. Repeat that final breath one more time.

  15. Shake out your hands.

  16. Bring your palms down facing up onto your knees.

  17. Close your eyes and take a moment to connect swithyourself before continuing on with your day.

Source: Lisa Vitta - Negative Mindset Meditation

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